Monday, 29 June 2009


Today, I look like this!

Bloody exhausted.

I now have FOUR teenagers in the house plus my own two, teetering on the edge of the 'Jelly Brained' years.

Oh, I am a foo-el!

A skint fool at that!

Let me introduce you to them:

Spanish: Wonderful girl, very polite, bit nervous, with extremely over protective parents. The parents say she has to be in by 2100 hrs every night. Poor cow. She is 16! When I was 16 I was out until 6am!

Her parents and the Spanish Agency are always telephoning as well. She's only been here two days and they've rung about 6 times! If the parents are that worried, they really shouldn't send their kids away.

Rude Girl: Says exactly what is does on the label. Bolshy, bold as brass and rude, rude, rude! And fat.

Goth: Nice girl, polite, bit quiet, but has blossomed since she arrived. All that hair covering her face has disappeared, the spots are fading and so is that 'I've been stuck in a room for 3 months with no sunlight' teenage look. She was painfully thin, but she is looking much healthier now.

Quirky: She was really frightened when she arrived. She had never flown before either, so when I picked her up, she looked like she was going to freak out. She has settled in well and found her voice and is really rather quirky and fun.

One of the things I do with the girls is take them out into the garden and do a bit of gymnastics with them. Kind of like bonding in a way and have a bit of fun.

I was trained as a gymnast and although I cant do the somersaults and back-flips anymore I can still do some nifty Arab-springs, cartwheels and handstands etc.

I was just about to show them my Arab-spring when:

Rude Girl: You can do it.

Me (trying to concentrate): I know I can.

Rude Girl: You're not too old.


Cheeky cow

Me (Indignantly): I'm not too bloody old!

With that, I pelted down the garden and performed a great Arab-spring with enough height at the end of have been able to go into a back-flip. (You have to get the height at the end or you'll never get over into the back-flip).

Rude Girl stood there with her mouth open.


That shut her up.

She has no understanding that as a guest in someone else's house, you behave. She behaves when my Hubby is around! I needed to assert my authority.

She was strutting around the kitchen the other day and pushed her belly out so far, she looked SIX months pregnant.

Rude Girl (playfully): Look, I am going to have a baby.

Me: Not in this house you're not!

Rude Girl: I will come and visit you with my baby.

Me: No you wont. Babies are banned in this house. No babies until you're thirty. And don't go home with one in there either!

They all came running into the house yesterday after a day out, squealing like stuck pigs, well, Rude Girl did anyway.

I lost my temper and told her to have a bit of respect when she comes into my house and behave or she would have to be moved. It seems to have done the trick. Boundaries proven, respect granted.

On a different note; Oh Joy of Joys!

Liam is having a bit of a tough time with Rhino (his girlfriend) at the moment and I can hardly contain my happiness.

It seems that Rhino and her mother are inseparable. So much so, that Rhino goes absolutely everywhere with her mother and when the mother say 'Jump', Rhino says 'How high?'.

On their year's anniversary the mother went out with them to celebrate (to a wrestling match no less!!!!), and Christmas/New year/Valentines Day they were also with the mother. (On Valentines Day??????) It beggars belief! I think this is weird.

Now, I cannot understand this, because my family are all very independent of each other. We are there in a crisis, but other than that, we get on with our lives. So this is very alien to me.

Liam rang three times yesterday asking if he could come and stay. I told him, of course he can, and that I would help him, and only him, find a flat and would help with a deposit.

I told Liam that jokes about 'Mother-in-Law's' are made for a reason, and this will never change, you cannot come between a mother and her daughter/son. If their relationship is that tight, then he will have to accept that.

I really wanted to tell him to 'Ditch the Bitch', but I couldn't. This is part of growing up and he has to make that decision for himself.

Apparently, when he says that he is leaving she dissolves into tears. Most irritating.

I told him to grow some balls and be the man that he is destined to be, the man I know he will be.....a great man.

So, lets hope he finds his balls and flees that dreadful woman's clutches!

When I was young, I was never really a 'kid' person. Didn't really find them that interesting, a bit dismissive of them really.

Now I am swamped, overloaded and exhausted with them. Hey ho! Four weeks to go!



  1. OMG woman you must be slightly crazed lol, I know I would be with that lot about. It's bad enough with your own but at least you can just give them "the look" and they tend to know when enough is enough. Enjoy the rest of your day, boiling hot here! x

  2. Thank god!!! She is a girlfriend and not a wife!!!

    Sounds like your boy is preparing to leave her.

  3. I don't know how you do it, also you must have a bloody massive house?

  4. Your just full of suprises - Arab - spring indeed!!! I'm very impressed even if rude girl isn't haha, good luck with them, i think you'll definately be going to heaven - how you deal with other peoples kids is beyond me, my own are bad enough. I hope Liam straps on a pair very soon.....i'm sure he'll see the light eventually x

  5. Wow, gymnastics! I'm so impressed. I was showing the Presley how to jump yesterday and was utterly delighted when I managed to get about 6" off the floor!!
    I don't know how you cope with all the students.
    Rhino sounds like a brilliant girlfriend...not!

  6. FOUR teenagers??? wow you're amazing! and gymnastics? even better! the only flexing i can do involves yoga and my credit card lol!

    But seriously where do you put all these children, do you have tents up in the garden?

    Oh and i hope your lovely son ditches that wildibeast of a girlfriend xxx

  7. That is a lot of estrogen under one roof! Glad you asserted yourself and let those little girls know who's boss:)

  8. please provide tips and hints about how to cope with teenagers. i need a list, with bullet points i can print out. motivational words can help too, because when 3 teenage daughters loom, i can make your words into posters and line my bedroom walls.

    we had teenagers in the house for *one week*. elizabeth hurley ate all the jam. the other one whose name i can't recall locked herself in the cellar. i went crazy. dig shouted and slammed doors. daughter tiger ended up at the psychologists.

    on this topic, i will need help.

  9. I always wanted to be a gymnast. My mum didn't drive and seemed to be always popping out babies while I was a child so I used to teach myself in the garage. I was awesome at the backwards walkover....I tried this again about 3 months ago, I can still do it and better than my sisters and my friends who were watching me. 2 days later I could barely walk at all though :/

  10. OMG -- at least you have built in entertainment. Good luck!

  11. Blimey, you've got your work cut out! Teenagers in one house can only spell mischief, sounds like you have them all sussed.

    CJ xx

  12. MGM - I am totally mad. This weather isnt helping either. Aaahhhhhh! RMxx

    Hit 40 - I can only pray and hope. xx

    Womanatwork - No. I dont. We have all doubled up and now there is absolutely no peace - except in the loo. I have to have a sneaky ciggie, puffing out the window. Purely medicinal of course! xx

    WOB - oh you do make me laugh. I hope he straps some on as well - otherwise he'll have to borrow mine! xx

  13. Sandy - I loved gym. Keeps you going years and years after. Yoga is similar. I do that when not stuffing choccy! xx

    amy - nah! I bung them in the shed! No. Under 16's can share. amber has a massive room, so 3 go in there. Over 16 have a room of their own. There is now no room for me. I'm in the shed! XX

    MM - So true! Too much bloody oestrogen! It's flying around like no ones business. xx

  14. This bloody laptop is driving me mad! Keeps gobbling up my replies!

    Oh Grit, you made me squeal with laughter! Unfortunately - I have no list whatsoever...I think I may need the help. xx

    Widge - stays with you forever right? The gym I mean! Did you do a warm up? Maybe thats why you were stiff xxx

    MM - It maybe pistols at dawn at this rate! xx

    CJ - You couldnt be more right. Mischief prevails. Heeeeelp! xx

    Many thanks for all you comments.

    Love you all - kisses and winks from cyber space RMxx

  15. Kudos to you...I can barely handle one child!

  16. I am laughing out loud woman!!!! I don't know how you do AND keep your sense of humor. GREAT POST.
    More please!

  17. I would give anything to be able to do gymnastics! I can just about do a crab these days. Dare I ask why you call the girlfriend Rhino?! x



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