The flowers in my garden are pretty enough but overnight they seemed to have morphed into some kind of Triffid, with the intent of 'doing me in' with their killer pollen!
My eyes are itchy and puffed up, I cant breathe, I'm sniffing and coughing like some old woman on her last legs. It is so irritating.
So instead of enjoying the sunshine and going down to Glastonbury and shoving unmentionables up my nose and smoking something stronger than a ciggy, I'm stuck at home squirting Beconase up my nose and Opticrom in my eyes!
Oh, to be 28 again, shin up an 18ft wall and slide down a pole to get into the festival. By all accounts, it sounds like its pissing it down there. Poor things. Only the sad sober ones will notice though.
On another note I took Olly to the local Tesco Express to buy him his Beano (he is fanatical about Beano - he has millions in his room). I told him to get his Beano, while I was searching for my gossip rag - the National Enquirer.
I picked up my mag and noticed that Olly was transfixed by something on the top shelf.
Needless to say it was 'Nuts' magazine.
Oh dear, I fear puberty is hitting already.
The Beano will be phased out and replaced by Nuts, Big and Busty and Wide Loads or some such other stimulating paraphernalia!
What can you do?
I have to go now to face the monster killer triffids in the garden, complete with a T-Towel wrapped around my head, in order to hang out my laundry.
Oh, such is life! x