Friday, 26 June 2009

Attack Of The Killer Triffids

The flowers in my garden are pretty enough but overnight they seemed to have morphed into some kind of Triffid, with the intent of 'doing me in' with their killer pollen!

My eyes are itchy and puffed up, I cant breathe, I'm sniffing and coughing like some old woman on her last legs. It is so irritating.

So instead of enjoying the sunshine and going down to Glastonbury and shoving unmentionables up my nose and smoking something stronger than a ciggy, I'm stuck at home squirting Beconase up my nose and Opticrom in my eyes!

Oh, to be 28 again, shin up an 18ft wall and slide down a pole to get into the festival. By all accounts, it sounds like its pissing it down there. Poor things. Only the sad sober ones will notice though.

On another note I took Olly to the local Tesco Express to buy him his Beano (he is fanatical about Beano - he has millions in his room). I told him to get his Beano, while I was searching for my gossip rag - the National Enquirer.

I picked up my mag and noticed that Olly was transfixed by something on the top shelf.

Needless to say it was 'Nuts' magazine.

Oh dear, I fear puberty is hitting already.

The Beano will be phased out and replaced by Nuts, Big and Busty and Wide Loads or some such other stimulating paraphernalia!

What can you do?

I have to go now to face the monster killer triffids in the garden, complete with a T-Towel wrapped around my head, in order to hang out my laundry.

Oh, such is life! x



  1. Sorry I haven't been over in a while. I seem to be have been bogged down - life, the know the score.

    It's pouring down here, would you like some rain? Would that help with the hay fever?

  2. The towel wrapped head sounds fetching! I had to laugh at Oli, you should be glad it's Nuts - that's quite tame these days :)

  3. Beano looks very cute!! My boys have moved on from kids national geographic to mad magazines.

    I would say that I miss the cute magazines, but I enjoy my boys being old enough to leave home alone.

  4. Oh please do take a picture of yourself tackling those flowers:) Good luck!!

  5. Nuts!! You'll be checking under the mattress next!

    CJ xx

  6. Call Rick Moranis over...he'll take care of the plant life

  7. Ooh, I loved Day of the Triffids. You'd better get your hands on a flame thrower. Good luck x

  8. Oh darling - I take back that invite to come over here - we have ridiculous white flowers blooming all over the place (not even sure which sort they are) but my friend with hay fever says they're the worst! But if you really can't stay away then bring the towel for you head and one for you mouth as well... And as for Olly - nothing you can do!!! Boys will be boys...but I know you already know that! x

  9. Would love to see a picture of you with the tea towel covering your face lol! poor thing hayfever is a nightmare, my hubby suffers aswell.

    Nuts!!! oh no! its booby wonderland! xx

    p.s thank you for your lovely comment over at mine, it really meant a lot and i think i'll be going to the doctors on monday, it can't hurt can it? i think i'm losing my marbles lol! oh i'm following you on twitter now, thers no escape mwa ha ha! xx

  10. Never been to a Rave or Festival, feel very dull.
    Except I too have hayfever. Sneeze ten times every morning. Sniff up my meds and can last out the day.

  11. Niece and nephew are at Glastonbury complete with wellies. Don't envy them one jot. Good luck with the triffids. When you are done, you can come and tackle mine!

  12. Aw, good lad, the Beano is very big in our house. I still have annuals from 1966!

    You don't want to go to that rotten old Glastonbury. You're not missing anything.
    You'll have a better weekend in your lovely garden xxxx

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  14. Ohhh your Glastonbury experience sounds like mine :)

  15. Aww, I so feel your pain re: the pollen-war. EVIL! And I don't believe it can't be cured either - just a big conspiracy to make us spend a fortune on stupid tablets that don't work. grrr!

    And the nuts story made me giggle - I fear for my little man - he LOVES boobs, and hasn't quite worked out that they don't all contain his next meal!! :P

  16. Helloooooooooooo!

    Reasons - Oh, I know how you feel. Lots of crap going around at the mo. Would love a bit of rain....although - I think we're in for a bit of a tropical heatwave....pollen will hit high levels then! XX

    WOB - I dont know why they call it 'Nuts', it looked like all 'tits' to me! XX

    Hit 40 - Hey National Geographic - very good! Mad Mag I've seen too, very funny. xx

    MM - It maybe a case of 'stem's at dawn' with the flowers , instead of 'pistols at dawn'. My eyes still itching now! xx

    CJ - Yup, thats where my other son used to hide his mags. another place is bottom of drawers and in cupboards! You see, I've been there before - with Liam of course, not Hubby - well havent found any of Hubby's yet....XX

    IQ - Love Rick Moranis - really funny. Havent seen him in much lately. XX

    Sandy - flame thrower all set. May chuck at Nil as well, just for a laugh you understand! xx

    MT - I may douse the towel in something with fumes...just to sort the pollen out of course. Boys - dont you just love them? It really made me laugh. Mother was all prim faced about it!!! xx

    Amy - I wrap it around in the manner of 'Lawrence of Arabia' fashion. I look quite bizaar!

    I'm following you too on twitter - we can tweet together! xx

    Moannie - Never been to a rave?????? Well book up for next year - its fab - except when there's a load of old rockers playing...I dont find that appealing in the least! xx

    Rosiero - I shall be known as the Triffid Attacker, after they have so mercilessly attacked me. I shall get them when all is quiet and their pollen has run out!!! xxx

    Jenny! - I never used to get hayfever, then after kid no 1 it came, after 2 and 3 it now gets worse every year. They are grinding me down....the flowers not the kids. No, thats a lie - they're ALL grinding me down! xx

    Kinha - Thank-you very much! I'll pop over when I get a chance. x

    OMG! So it was you in that tent!!! Apparantly you cant shin up walls anymore - security too tight. Shame. We used to buy other peoples wristbands too - but now they stick them on too tight so you have to cut them off! No fun anymore. xx

    ML - Yup - boobs, legs and men goes hand in hand! Unless you live in Brighton like I do. Gay capital, lots of bums and pecks go and hand in hand! xx

    Many thanks for all your comments, always lovely to hear from you!

    A wink and a kiss coming your way

    RM xxx

  17. Oh no not Nuts!! My son will never want those magazines will he? Tell me he won't!! x



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