Saturday 26 September 2009

Death and Taxes

Forgive me for not posting or commenting, but this week started off truly awful with nothing less than a 'Witch Hunt', then it peaked to dizzying heights with dear Olly coming up trumps (that kid never ceases to amaze me and I will write a post about it soon - I'm so proud of him), and now we have been plunged back into such depths of despair that is beyond belief.

It has been just one thing after another this week, but this latest tragedy is just simply appalling.

My Hubby's sister's husband, Roger, was the kindest, jolliest and loveliest of men. At 6ft 6" by 6ft 6", he was a towering giant of man, with a gentle, sensitive soul. Jolly Roger we used to call him. He doted on the kids, he didn't have children of his own so they used to spoil Olly and Amber something rotten.

One afternoon this week, he drove into a large UK city and parked his car at the top of a multi-storey car park and threw himself off. He plunged 70ft onto a busy main road and was then hit by a double-decker bus!

Did the bus come along just to make sure that the 'job' was done?

It is almost laughable. What kind of a cruel joke is this? Another one of Life's twists and turns?

Needless to say we are shocked and devastated and Hubby's poor sister is beside herself with grief. To make matters worse it was captured on CCTV footage, however, because of the footage, the police have declared it a suicide, although this was so out of character.

I was unable to tell the kids that their Uncle committed suicide, so I have told them it was a heart attack.

The local papers have even reported the death. There are rivers of tears streaming through this house and up north too (where Hubby's family is from). I have yet to cry. I feel numb with shock. My family need me to keep things ticking over, keep the routines going, so that is what I am doing. Olly appears to be coping very well, although Amber is a bit of a wreck.

Some 'wit' whose name escapes me right now wrote 'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes'. At least you can ring an accountant if you're not sure when your taxes are due. Unfortunately for death, we have no such assurance.

For my dear brother-in-law, Roger. Love you, miss you. R.I.P.

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Wednesday 16 September 2009

Glorious Food


What the hell is this???


Abbi (Liam's new girlfriend), who seems to be a permanent fixture at weekends, says this was a gift from her mother.

To feed her with no doubt!

On questioning Abbi, with regards to 'What is it?', 'What do I do with it?', 'Does it have a name?',
'Is it rhubarb?', 'How do I cook it?'.

She replied, 'Its like spinach. Cook it like Spinach'.

She obviously is not aware that my cooking skills, regarding the art of creating a spinach dish, (or any dish come to that) do not stretch that far.


And what the frig is this?





Looks like overgrown sweetcorn kernels.

These are mini yellow tomatoes apparently.

Can you eat yellow tomatoes, without being poisoned?


At least I know what this is.


A fuzzy piccy of a cucumber.


Yeah, well, I'm not sure how long the first two will sit in my fridge, the spinach thing must be about 3ft long and is curling around the inside of my fridge muscling in on everything else. It is a very bolshy vegetable.

We seem to be inundated with other visitors at the weekend too these days......mainly Liam's huge, strapping mates.

When did they grow so big? Am I shrinking?

I knew these kids when they were scrawny 12 year olds, who wouldn't say 'boo to a goose' and where no taller than a reed of grass. Now they are towering 23 year old men with bulging muscles, big gobs and noisy fast cars. The neighbours get a bit twitchy when they visit.

Liam's room emits noise like a football crowd on a Saturday afternoon. Smutty words can be heard echoing down the stairwell along with great guff's of raucous laughter!

They also have stomachs like bottom-less pits. Why do they always come round at tea-time? I cant feed that lot......my fridge would be empty in a matter of seconds!

Mmm, seconds thoughts, it might solve the problem of the spinach tree growing in the fridge. I could whip 'em up a spinach and tomato tart delicately decorated with cucumber.

In my experience, young men seem to like the taste of a good-looking tart!

(Singing) Food, glorrrrr.............rious........fooooooooooooooood!
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Friday 11 September 2009

Bloody Brilliant Blog Award





I received this Bloody Brilliant Blog Award from the fabulous Brits in Bosnia - at least I think she gave me this particular award......I cant be sure, because my brain feels like a soggy tapioca pudding this morning, if it is indeed still in my head. I think it is gone AWOL.


I would also like to mention Four Down Mum To Go and the super SandyCalico - both who have given me awards in the past, but being an utter dimwit I cant remember if I have thanked them.


So, my great thanks to those lovely ladies for thinking of me and I shall pass it on.
























In fact, if any of you guys would like the poster then please have it, cause you're all pretty damn Bloody Brilliant.


Enjoy. I have to go and find my brain now.


Love RMxx


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Monday 7 September 2009

Divine Solitude



Photograph by Paolo Curto/Getty Images


What a pissy week!


After a lovely two week respite I have landed back on earth with a crash and assumed my previous role of Domestic Drudge.


There are too many people in this house. Everywhere you turn there is an offspring of mine or a husband or a relative or someones girlfriend or a pigging salesman at the door hoodwinking my fool of a husband. (My husband said I was cruel to kick him out and that the young salesman looked like he was going to cry. I couldn't have cared less. Get out, get out, get out!)


My gums have blown up to an indescribable painful proportion (I think its gingivitis) so I cant eat, drink or talk much, which is a shame. However, Hubby has taken to whistling and singing of late and appears to be in a very good mood now my tongue is no longer able to wag!


But today is a fabulous day! There is no one in the house but me. Olly is at his new school, which he seems to be enjoying - although I don't enjoy battling the traffic to drop him off and pick him up twice a day. Amber is at her school (she is in the last year of Primary now), Liam is at work and Hubby has gone back to Nairobi for a few days. So it is bliss, bliss, bliss!!!!


I have applied for membership from the affiliating body that I passed my exams in, but you also have to submit relevant work experience and references, so I am just waiting to hear if I have been successful. If so, there are further options, such as more study (for fucks sake!) or opening up my own business - but this is also extremely regulated. They obviously don't want any tin-pot crap then! I'm chomping at the bit at the moment, ready to steam ahead, but all this waiting around is doing my head in. Still, we'll know soon enough.


Anyhow, today is a day of Divine Solitude and although I don't look anything like that bird swimming around in the Indian Ocean or live anywhere like that beautiful tropical island in the Maldives, spiritually I am her and I am there - for today, anyway.

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