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Heathrow Airport 19/08/09

Rang Father to let him know I was going away. Someone else picked up the phone and informed me that he would be available in sixteen minutes. (Sixteen minutes?????????????).

Rang back after eighteen minutes, just to be awkward.

I was befriended in the airport by a middle-aged poof called Coolen. (Apparently he had taken a shine to my 'slapper' shoes). Coolen knew a straight Grounds Staff Dispatch man, who was also intrigued by my 8 inch heels and begged me for a peek. So I flashed him my 'slapper' shoes, and he upgraded me to First!!!!! Couldn't believe it! I flew all the way to Singapore in First Class with Coolen.

Singapore 20/08/2009

Hubby and I went out to a local eatery for a lovely slap-up meal that cost about £5. Got caught in a torrential downpour on the way back to the hotel. Unfortunately I was wearing my flip-flops which were next to useless on the tiled pavements and I skidded all the way back to the hotel. When we finally reached our room I glanced in the mirror and was appalled. My hair was plastered to my head, my make-up had run and, worst of all, my bra had soaked up all the rain so the only wet patches on my t-shirt were around the bosom area. I was mortified.

The next day we walked into Chinatown and took a look around the market. We then grabbed a cab and went to Sentosa Island. There was a wooden bridge that boasted it was 'Asia's most Southern Point'. Standing right at the tip looking out to sea, I noticed another island. It was about 200ft further south.

Jumped on a Cable Car to Mount Faber. Unfortunately we only got about a third of the way up, when another thunder storm struck. The cable car ground to halt and we were left dangling hundreds of feet in the air while lightening flashed and thunder crashed around us. Flipping scary.

About an hour later we had finally made our way back to the mainland, but there were no cabs for love nor money because it was still pouring down. We took the MRT (train). It is the cleanest train I have ever been on. There was a man with a cloth cleaning it and spraying disinfectant! A far cry from London's hot and sticky Tube.

In the evening, went to Raffles Hotel for my Singapore Sling. Expensively delicious.

The next morning we walked to Little India. Very interesting. The temple was painted different colours and the pavements are so packed full of market stalls you have to walk in the road and dodge the cars.

Flew to Sydney in the afternoon.

Sydney, Australia. 23/08/09

Just arrived at the hotel when Liam rung my mobile. He was pissed out of his head and slurred that he and his mates where having a great BBQ/party in the garden and Nil points (our neighbour) was having a hissy fit. In the background I could hear Nil shouting above the din. But Liam's mates laughter drowned him out.

Walked through Sydney's botanic gardens - truly beautiful, then on to the Opera House. Purchased a ticket to Manly Island and took the ferry across Sydney Harbour. The world and its wife were all on Manly Beach: surfing, boogie-boarding, snorkeling, diving and paddling. So we kicked off our shoes and ran into the sea. We soon ran out again, it was bloody freezing! If that had been in Brighton we would all be hovering on the shoreline, daring to dip in a toe. Not with the Australians, they don't care how cold it is. They're hard!

In the evening we had a juicy steak at a restaurant over looking Sydney Harbour on 'The Rocks'.

Sydney, Australia 24/08/09

The next morning we had another slap-up English breakfast as Hubby said he was 'all noodled out'.

Caught a flight back to Singapore.

Singapore 25/08/09

Went to Orchard Road to do a bit of shopping. Nothing but shopping malls everywhere. I lasted 10 mins. Very tired. Went back to hotel and slept.

In the evening we went back to Little India and had a curry served on a banana leaf! Fabulous.

A new delicacy sweeping Singapore at the moment is Fish Head Curry. A fish head in a curry sauce, that people pay high prices for. Uurgh!

Singapore 26/08/09

Today is my birthday. I am forty frigging one. 366 days ago I was 39.

A Singaporean cab driver told me that today is the Chinese Valentine's Day, but nobody celebrates it anymore - they all celebrate on the 14th February instead.

We spent the morning back on the beach at Sentosa Island. Hubby bought some blue flowery swimming shorts. On anyone else they would have looked ridiculous, but somehow he didnt look too bad in them.

In the afternoon we had Tiffin at Raffles. They even brought out a teeny, tiny chair for my handbag to sit on! Bizarre!

I had a fabulous birthday and felt extremely lucky.

They managed to squeeze me on the flight home, which was lucky, but unluckily I spent the next 13 hours sitting next to a man who stank of fish. Apparently, he was a Norwegian businessman who supplies fish food to Australia and Norway. I think air freshners should be mandatory for people in this kind of work.

My glamorous exotic adventure is over and I enjoyed every moment of it. I did cry on the way home, because my beautiful dream life was finishing and the reality of domestic drudgery is about to bite once more. x

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