Sunday, 3 May 2009

Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll

The last few days have been very difficult.

Olly has been a complete pain. He is not happy at school at the moment and wont speak about it. (Typical autistic trait). He is so moody, it's like he's walking around with a black thundercloud above his head - all the time!

He has to be encouraged and cajoled to do anything - even to go to the loo. He would be quite happy just to sit in front of the telly or the computer imitating a Buddha for 24 hours a day.

I am absolutely exhausted with the amount of patience I have to constantly exhibit - when all I want to do is scream with sheer frustration.

Hubby has conveniently had to visit San Fransisco for the weekend (Oh, honey, I have a great idea. Lets get married, have kids and I'll sod off working abroad and leave you with the kids 24/7. that'll be nice, wont it?).

Being completely side-tracked by the event of the last few days, I completely forgot it was a Bank Holiday, which means no school on Monday. School is the only respite I get so I'm pissed off.

The kids cant be left in a room together for any length of time because they argue and start fighting. This is every minute of every day. Never do I get any peace when they are at home together. Never.

I can only put it down to Karma and the fact that because I enjoyed myself so much in my twenties, that I have relinquished any 'rights to fun' whatsoever for my thirties and my forties. High price to pay!

My friend Lou managed to shift her kids to the Grandparents for the weekend so she could have a break with her 'Dandy'. Unfortunately for me there are no Grandparents.

Maybe I should put an ad in the paper:

Loving Grandparents required for two uncontrollable little monsters. Tendency to shout, bicker, argue and fight, however good rates of pay with free muzzle accessories provided.

It has got to the point where I cannot sleep and just pick at my food, even nibbling on a little bit of chocolate makes me feel sick, which is most unusual!

I was crying into the chili I was making this evening, when 'Swiss' the student walked in. I had to pretend it was an acute case of hayfever.

Maybe I should have gone out with a 'bang' in my twenties with some illicit sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll story:

Pretty, slim, blonde, 22, found naked in pop star's apartment. Judging by the smile on the girl's face and the big, fat joint in her hand it is believed that she went happily after a night of boozing, drugging and frolicking. Detectives declined to comment on the grin.

Instead of:

The haggered woman with bleached hair originally identified as being 225 years old was in fact 40. The heart attack was believed to have been brought on by the extreme stress of having naughty children and a husband who preferred to work rather than take her out. She was only identified by the tattoo on her forehead which said 'wipe your feet here'.

I wish I had known at 22 what my life held for me at 40.



  1. HA HA HA HA HA HA! I was laughing out loud at the last bit, even though it's not funny for you, I know.
    If it's any consolation I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I WAS that pop star in my 20's (complete with joint in hand - ahh, can feel it now..oohh, ok, stop it, get a grip)
    Have just rewarded myself for 5 years of indentured servitude, wait I mean loving motherhood and wifedom in Stepford which is like Brighton in California with a SOLO trip to London at the end of month where I will behave BADLY.
    You should come

  2. Oh dear, this does not sound good! Ok does hubs know the full force of how knackered you are? Is there any chance of you just getting away for an evening when he's home? It is amazing how much difference just having an evening out to look forward to makes. I don't get out much but the promise of an evening escape with some mates is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. Hope the weekend is progressing better than you expect luv Karen x

  3. I feel your pain, my hubby works all weekend at night, so from friday till tuesday morning i'm basicaly a single mum to four kids. you definately need some time out before you burn yourself out and you must tell your hubby how you feel (although i do try telling mine but it never goes in lol!) make sure you get some 'me time' when he comes back. i hope you feel better soon and have a nice bank holiday love amy x x

  4. It's hideous...I know it is!! You poor thing. If it's any consolation (which I'm sure it's not), my hubby is away ALL the time. Like right now for example. Like tomorrow. For my Birthday. For whenever the kiddies are ill. Blah, blah, blah. Hilarious post though - am liking the fact that you still have a sense of humour!! xxxx

  5. Aah, thanks for your comments - you have all really cheered me up.

    Mothership: Thank God - a kindred spirit! We seemed to have lost our way....there is nothing I would enjoy more than getting off my, I mean behaving badly.xx

    MGM - Hubby and I never go out, because no-one will 'sit' a kid with Asperger's. One of my friends has just had a baby, so she's a bit distracted and the other is galavanting with her new man. Maybe I should go out with my son - he's 22 - but he's very straight-laced - prefers a cup of tea!

    Amy - I dont know how you do it - You're amazing! It's nice to know that there are other mums whose husbands work away.

    MT - It's horrible when they are away for your special day. So pleased you found the post funny - I like to 'keep my pecker up' instead of cutting my throat! Hope you have a wonderful birthday xx

  6. Have you read Wife in the North (she's on my side-bar of bloggers). I know exactly how you feel as have had years of this too. It's tough.

    Do you know Crystal Jigsaw (also one on my bloglist) she has an autistic child and writes about it often.

    I hope you manage to take a break when the kids are back at school tomorrow. It's lonesome doing it all alone, but you're not alone, there are loads like us.xx

  7. It's get better soon. That's what I tell myself.

  8. Dear Reasons...You are an angel. Thank you for your kind words. I have read Wife In The North - extemely good - and CJ is a chum of mine on BMB. There is so much comfort in knowing that your not alone. xxx

    MM - True and wise words - my mother says the same thing...pity she cant help at bit more - pity she cant help at all really!!


  9. poor you, this is my first visit here, via the carnival thing, so I don't know the history or how old your children are or whether both are autistic or how severe, so I can't really proffer that desperately annoying thing of, oh it'll get better, it'll pass, you'll look back and, etc. So it's just sympathy from me to you. and a suggestion to have a belting big bucket of wine tonight.

  10. Thanks Milla.

    Sounds like a good idea, a bucket of wine - lets make it a barrel shall we? My shout! x



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