Before being married with kids, I used to look like this:
Now, I look like this:
The week started off glorious, with two awards from the wonderful Amy at And1moremeans4.
(I shall do the awards next post).
Then on Tuesday night we had a bit of a storm in Brighton which knocked out my phone line, then the Internet went a bit 'iffy' and finally decided to conk out too.
THREE frigging days I've had with no phone! TWO frigging days with no Internet.......
I have a mobile phone, but I can only get a signal if I hang out the window by my toes.
I waited in for TWO days for the engineer to come and fix the phone....did he come?
No, he bloody didn't. I called them five times from the pay phone over the road and my last conversation ended up with the woman on the other end of the phone reprimanding me because of my use of 'inappropriate language'!
She said she would report me if I continued to use such language.
I said I would report her to Watchdog for inappropriate customer service and working for such a crappy company. (BT by the way!)
I didn't even use the 'F' word!
In other news, Olly decided that Hubby's mobile phone was 'dirty' so he washed it under the tap!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say it is ruined......I can only thank the heavens that he didn't decide to clean the plug sockets as well.
Yesterday, Amber decided to make herself a sandwich with already sliced bread and ended up nearly cutting her finger off with a knife as sharp as a spoon.
How did she do that???????
She was shaking her finger so violently that blood splattered everywhere - all up the bathroom walls, over the floor, she then turned a very nasty green colour and almost fainted at the sight of the blood.
Olly was going a bit mad at this point, panicking........and where was my Hubby? In Nairobi.
What is the point of having a Hubby if he's not around in a crisis?
Amber is fine now, it was just a bit of deep cut on the middle finger.......middle fingers can be very useful sometimes especially when driving with idiots on the road.
My lovely son Liam called me on the mobile the other day, his conversation is improving from the normal teenage monosyllabic grunt. He's 23 on Sunday. I think boys are late developers.
Liam: 'Ello mum'
Me: Hello love - how are you?
Me: What you doing?
Liam: I'm in Menorca
Liam: Me and Rhino, in Menorca
Me: I didn't know you where going on holiday
Liam: Last minute deal
Me: Well, how is it?
Me: Can you see the sea?
It's like trying to get blood out of a stone, holding a conversation with him.
Me: Whats the weather like?
Me: Lucky you. It's pissing down here.
Liam: (some kind of acknowledged grunt)
Liam: I could live here
Me: Can I come too?
Liam: Nah! (Charming).
Me: Have you got your suncream? Condoms? Enough Money?
Liam: Muuuum! Got to go, going to beach now
Me: Love you darling, have a lovely time, call me if you need anyth.....
Phone goes dead.
Oh well, at least he rang. I guess I wont be seeing him on his birthday then. I'll have to scoff the cake with the kids.
Lets hope the week gets better now.....If I looked like ole Superwoman up there, I'm sure my phone would have been fixed in a jiffy.
Unfortunately being covered in hair, looking grumpy and poking my tongue out at the world has no effect whatsoever......Hey-ho!