Friday, 29 May 2009

Superwoman - not!

Holy smoke - what a crappy week!

Before being married with kids, I used to look like this:

Now, I look like this:

The week started off glorious, with two awards from the wonderful Amy at And1moremeans4.

(I shall do the awards next post).

Then on Tuesday night we had a bit of a storm in Brighton which knocked out my phone line, then the Internet went a bit 'iffy' and finally decided to conk out too.

THREE frigging days I've had with no phone! TWO frigging days with no Internet.......

I have a mobile phone, but I can only get a signal if I hang out the window by my toes.

I waited in for TWO days for the engineer to come and fix the phone....did he come?

No, he bloody didn't. I called them five times from the pay phone over the road and my last conversation ended up with the woman on the other end of the phone reprimanding me because of my use of 'inappropriate language'!

She said she would report me if I continued to use such language.

I said I would report her to Watchdog for inappropriate customer service and working for such a crappy company. (BT by the way!)

I didn't even use the 'F' word!

In other news, Olly decided that Hubby's mobile phone was 'dirty' so he washed it under the tap!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say it is ruined......I can only thank the heavens that he didn't decide to clean the plug sockets as well.

Yesterday, Amber decided to make herself a sandwich with already sliced bread and ended up nearly cutting her finger off with a knife as sharp as a spoon.

How did she do that???????

She was shaking her finger so violently that blood splattered everywhere - all up the bathroom walls, over the floor, she then turned a very nasty green colour and almost fainted at the sight of the blood.

Olly was going a bit mad at this point, panicking........and where was my Hubby? In Nairobi.

What is the point of having a Hubby if he's not around in a crisis?

Amber is fine now, it was just a bit of deep cut on the middle finger.......middle fingers can be very useful sometimes especially when driving with idiots on the road.

My lovely son Liam called me on the mobile the other day, his conversation is improving from the normal teenage monosyllabic grunt. He's 23 on Sunday. I think boys are late developers.

Liam: 'Ello mum'

Me: Hello love - how are you?

Liam: Alright

Me: What you doing?

Liam: I'm in Menorca

Me: What?

Liam: Me and Rhino, in Menorca

Me: I didn't know you where going on holiday

Liam: Last minute deal

Me: Well, how is it?

Liam: Lovely

Me: Can you see the sea?

Liam: Yup

It's like trying to get blood out of a stone, holding a conversation with him.

Me: Whats the weather like?

Liam: Gorgeous

Me: Lucky you. It's pissing down here.

Liam: (some kind of acknowledged grunt)


Liam: I could live here

Me: Can I come too?

Liam: Nah! (Charming).

Me: Have you got your suncream? Condoms? Enough Money?

Liam: Muuuum! Got to go, going to beach now

Me: Love you darling, have a lovely time, call me if you need anyth.....

Phone goes dead.

Oh well, at least he rang. I guess I wont be seeing him on his birthday then. I'll have to scoff the cake with the kids.

Lets hope the week gets better now.....If I looked like ole Superwoman up there, I'm sure my phone would have been fixed in a jiffy.

Unfortunately being covered in hair, looking grumpy and poking my tongue out at the world has no effect whatsoever......Hey-ho!


  1. poor you! what a week! and i agree BT are crap it took me nearly 2months to get a phone line and them gave me someones elses line and i only found out when the engineer phoned up to tell me this was someone elses line and cut me off!!! I stopped my grunts when i was 16 and had to by 19 as i had my lovely 3year old lol! i hope things get better lots of love amy x x

  2. Awww bless you that is one hell of a week! I think you need a big glass of vino, or better still a bottle! My mum says exactly the same thing about my brother who is 25!

  3. Hi! crappy week here too, but yours seems much more interesting! Thanks for the laugh (I was supposed to laugh, huh?!)

  4. What a week!
    Award for you at mine x

  5. Hello!

    Amy - BT - All that is wrong with Britain today....and yesterday....and 20 years ago. Cant someone buy them out? Does anyone know anyone rich enough? xxx

    Wife of bold - Ooh, sounds delicious. No, I think there is something about men/boys and just goes together somehow!

    Suburbia - God, yes! Laugh. The only way to get through life is to laugh, laugh loudly and laugh with someone else. x

    Sandy - Your a darling...thank you so much. x

  6. Oh no, what a week! I couldn't survive without the net! There's an award for you over at mine to cheer you up :) xx

  7. Do you know my brain cells are obviously depleted as I thought I'd commented here earlier! I am slightly troubled by how dependant I am on my internet connection, goodness knows how I'd cope, and no phone well I'd have strangled the bleepers! I feel for poor Amber, I am not very good with blood myself and have to put on a very brave face sometimes. Have a great weekend luv Karen x

  8. Thank you for the follow. Love your blog. The pictures you use are brillant!

  9. You got a lot out of the boy! I agree that it was nice that he called. Maybe, have a list of questions ready for the next call since you will need to be holding up the whole conversation!!!

    Boys do not seem to get much chattier when they "grow" up!!

  10. LOL I'm sorry to laugh at your pain but it seems that those phone companies are the same EVERYWHERE!
    I do love that your Hubby;s phone got a good wash too.

    Hope your week gets brighter!

  11. too funny! i nearly didn't comment because i thought you really were the babe with the huge bristols...but then i read on and thought, yep, she's normal.

    so daunting having a grown-up son, i can't imagine it. and ohmigod having to remind them about condoms...i might need to go and lie down at the very thought of my darlings making the four buttocked beast.


  12. Hi.
    I came to your blog via a recommendation from The Dotterel and I love it already.

    I hate it when I can't access the internet. I work in an office so when I had no connection at home for two weeks last year, I could at least get a small fix on week days. The last time I had to deal with BT on the phone, the overseas call centre woman who rang me back said "Hello Missis" when I answered! I try to deal with BT (and NPower and Tiscali) by email rather than phone - it's cheaper and a lot less stressful.

  13. your so funny..omg i love when moms are blunt with there mines are too young for all that

  14. clareybabble - thank you so much

    Karen - It was like losing a limb! Have a lovely weekend too x

    widge - your most welcome.

    HIt 40 - I need open ended questions all the time, still, he's improving!

    MM - I can only be thankful that at least Olly is now thinking about hygiene!!!

    Pig! So pleased your back with your lovely blog. I wish I was the bird with bristols!
    Four buttocked beast....oh, how I laughed! x

    Liz - Hello and welcome. Isnt Dottie lovely?
    I am addicted to the Internet - it was awful....nasty withdrawal symptons like cleaning the house. Urgh!

    Bearer of three - I have to blunt with Liam - I think he rolls his eyes at me, but heyho no-ones perfect. I only have that with him, not the other two.....yet!

    Many thanks for all your comments. It's always lovely to hear from you xxx

  15. At first it's kind of sad that they've left the roost and you think and worry all the time about them. Then you realize that if they've remembered their sun screen and condoms, they've become responsible. And you let it go. Cuz you don't want to even think about whether they actually use that stuff of not. Fingers crossed!

  16. Thank you for the giggle lol ... xx

  17. Love the before and after pictures. Mine are similar - but with even more of a hissy extended claw option. Love your blog - I'll be back for more, you made me laugh a lot.

  18. FL - It is sad....I miss him terribly. But the cord must be cut! He'd better use the condoms or I'll throttle!

    OMG Pregnant - your most welcome

    BIB - So pleased it made you laugh...I love being able to laugh - otherwise I would spend my life in tears.....not a good way to go!!

    Thanks so much for your comments XXX

  19. Came here from Crystal Jigsaw and I'm so glad I did!

  20. Hello David! Lovely to have you here....I really do look like the cat - just so I dont disappoint you!!!

    PS Checked out your website - fab.

    Thanks for dropping by x

  21. Funnnnnny but awful too. Poor you. But a phone call from a son, even a late developer is worth celebrating...and a POTD from our Knightly Sir David.

  22. I'm laughing here. Sorry, but it's the way you tell 'em. However, sorry too, to hear you had a crappy week. Hope this week is much better.

    CJ xx



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