Sunday, 5 April 2009

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

Going through some old diary, I found this piece which I wrote 8 years ago. I thought it might be nice to share...!

Sunday March 25th 2001

6.30am Jolted awake from a lovely sleep by two toddlers arguing and fighting over toys in their bedroom. Banged on wall and yelled for them to go back to 'keep it down!'

7.30am Bashing of solid objects on paper-thin walls and awoke abruptly from snoozing to my daughter’s piercing screeches. Got up and strode purposely to their bedroom and shouted ‘Be quiet'!

8.00am Could stand arguments no longer and decided to get up and them breakfast. Meanwhile Hubby was pushing up the Z’s in our bedroom. Wearily pulled out clothes for kids to wear from their chest of drawers and struggled downstairs with clothes, a toddler in my arms and toddler a in hand. Flung clothes in lounge and took the kids into the kitchen and gave them breakfast.

Halfway through, two stinky bottoms had to be changed and still hadn’t had cup of tea, been for a wee or cleaned teeth.Getting fed up now, both kids moaning and winging so started yelling. This alerts Hubby who manages to crawl out of bed and stick kettle on. He takes over the kids and I go upstairs for long awaited wee and finally clean teeth.

Get dressed for work. Come downstairs and dress kids, must make sandwiches for work – phone rings. It is teenage son reminding me the clocks have gone forward and I should have been at the childminders 20 mins ago to drop kids off!

Get into panic and start running around like a madwoman, shoving toys and spare clothes into four small holdalls, as have currently mislaid large rucksack. Get kids coats and shoes and dash out of front door. (Managed to sip tea while legging it to the car – the sandwiches had no chance!)

Drive kids to childminder's, drop them off with their half a ton of baggage and zoom off to work. Arrive 10 mins late. The Manager, Kirsty, was in a vile mood as only one other girl had turned up on time. The shop was teeming with customers looking for holidays. The shop quietens down at 1230 so decide to eat and have a long awaited ciggie. 20 mins later back on shop floor. Busy all day with buggering time wasters and no bloody bookings.

Finally finished work and trudge back to car to pick up kids from Childminder's, handing over thirty quid in the meantime. Have lost teenage son, he has gone out with his mate Bill, don’t know where he is.

Take toddlers home and prepare oven ready meatballs with spaghetti. Amber is very tired and cold so put warmer clothes on her and wrapped her up in thick blanket. Changed Olly's clothes and threw out torn trousers. Dinner finally ready but still no sign of teenage son Liam or Hubby. (Where the hell is Hubby?)

Got distracted trying to watch Antiques Road show amid ‘Mummy Poo’ ‘Mummy Robin Hood finish’. Vegetables burnt and meatballs dried and too hard. Fling dinner on plates and slap plates on table.

Halfway through Amber almost poo’s knickers so just putting her on the potty when the phone rings; It's Bill's mum. She doesn’t know where the boys are. Said I would call her back and hung up. Sorted out Amber who was still trying to do a poo. Ring Liam on mobile; he is on the bus. Rang Bill's mum back and said boys were on their way home.

Finally get to taste revolting dinner. Liam comes home and wants dinner, told him to make his own as it is now in the bin.

Toddlers moaning and fighting. Changed them into their PJ’ so they are ready for bed. Still moaning 10 mins later. Finally too stressed to care. Bung kids in bed. Amber screams a piercing, ear splitting, indignant screech about going to bed.

Hubby comes in and goes straight to bed as he is tired from a day working!

Encounter teenage son in kitchen making huge mess and demand a card. Do not get one so go in lounge and sob. Teenage son hovers in doorway and squeaks goodnight and bolts noisily up the stairs and wakes up toddlers who scream and cry and moan.

Go into kitchen which is a total wreck. Scream upstairs for teenager to come down and clear up mess as I am not a slave. He denies all knowledge of mess and then receives a right mouthful from a very distraught, strained, overworked and undervalued mother – who is still sobbing.

Teenage son eventually clears up mess while toddlers still howl. Distraught mother trys to calm them down, which has no effect. Then grab car keys and drove off into the night.

I drove to an expensive hotel on Brighton seafront and booked myself into a lovely sea view room. I turned off the mobile, rang down for room service and ordered a fabulous dinner with a side order of Vodka. I then proceeded to ring my friends from the Hotel room and have a good chat with them. All of which I charged to Hubby's Credit Card. By the next morning I had ten messages on the mobile and Hubby was frantic with worry. I told him that if I ever had a day like that again I would not come back - and so far he has pulled his weight. By the way, Sunday 25th March 2001 was Mother's Day.



  1. Men! I'm sure they aren't switched on half the time. A woman's work and all that, but kids and men don't understand what that means. And we just get on with it don't we.

    You so deserved that break.

    CJ xx

  2. Aah, thanks CJ. I really enjoyed my little jaunt - whilst feeling incredibly guilty! Sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl should do....then the message is received and understood.

    PS Love the photos on your site. Fab! x

  3. Glad to hear you found the perfect solution!



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