Thursday, 30 July 2009

4 Students, 3 Poofs and a Sandwich

Flippin' 'eck!!!!

Has it really been over a week since I posted something????

'SLACKER', I hear you cry! Yup. Slack, slack slack!

These past few weeks have been so busy my head is spinning.

Finally, all four students have gone back home. Phew!

I shall be glad not to cook dinner for NINE people anymore and also elated that I don't have to make anymore sandwiches for lunch!

It was like a flipping factory production line; SIX sets of lunches everyday for the last SIX weeks. I am so sick of sandwiches. If I never see another sandwich again I shall die a happy woman!

Espania, our Spanish student, left in a torrent of emotional tears, blubbing all over the place she was, and was finally whisked off to the airport in an Executive Car complete with Chauffeur and Escort.


It was a simple affair with the other three; they left quietly on Monday via 'coach' class.

This summer has hardly been a barrel of laughs with the students, (understatement of the year!), so I think it is time to bow out, perhaps.

Liam, my 23 year old, who descended upon us a couple of weeks ago, has been camping out in Olly's room. He has decided to stay at home for the foreseeable future (no doubt because he is skint and homeless), but I don't care, its lovely to have him back.


I can hardly contain my happiness......... he has split with Rhino for good!

That bird was one sandwich short of picnic, and all his mates where telling him she had a couple of screws loose! Still, its over now. Thank the heavens.

I took Liam to get his eyes checked because he cannot see the TV when sitting on the sofa! He has to sit on the floor with his face up right against the telly.

Needless to say, he is as blind as a bat. If a perfect vision is equal to 200, Liam's vision is 20. That means to say he only has 10% vision!

Could explain why he fell for Rhino, not being able to see her properly. Anyway, he gets his glasses on Friday.

We have also sorted him out a Multi-room Sky box, which is apparently taking 3 MONTHS to be delivered. 3 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's that about????

Amber and Olly have finally broken up for the hols and about time. They were ready to drop. It has been an extremely difficult time with Olly, and I mean really difficult. But I wont go there for the time being.

On a much lighter note, Brighton has its Gay Pride Parade on 1st August. Although the London Parade is much better, I always try to go to the Brighton one, to show my support and to have a good look at the dresses and costumes or lack of them! Its so much fun.

The three poofs that live across the road are having a party on Friday night to celebrate the Parade and they invited me over.

(I know its not politically correct, but I just love that word 'poof'. It reminds me of when I used to blow on a dandelion as a kid, 'Pooooff!').

One of them said, 'Oh, you'll be shocked at what you see at our party!'.

Me: Why will I be shocked?

Him: Well, you wont have been to party like ours before, all the 'dragging up' and things we get up to!

Me: I was going to ask you if you had any drag queens going, tends to spice up a party......

He looked at me quizzically.

Apparently appearances can be deceptive. Of course, I've never been to a gay/drag party before, because I am a suburban housewife married with kids and I have ALWAYS been a suburban housewife married with kids, and not led any kind of other life at all!!!

Best not mention going to G A Y at the Astoria in London, or having a girlfriend, or having a rock star as a boyfriend, or seeing copious amounts of drugs laid out tables for all to sniff or casinos, or gangsters or millionaires...........enough said. I am a suburban housewife, best not burst his bubble.

He then proceeded to inform me of his sexual antics with strangers in bushes and how, when it came to the crunch, he couldn't do it!

This, of course, was intended to shock, but I burst out laughing. I told him he wasn't as outgoing as he thought he was and maybe he preferred his home comforts instead!

So, this is another snippet in my woefully dull life of 4 students, 3 poofs and a sodding sandwich!




  1. What you mean you haven't always been a housewife , now i am shocked !!
    My kids struggle with the fact that i haven't always been a mum i mean when did i have time to mix with famous people and do other fun stuff !!!

    Sara x

  2. First off, congrats on finally losing Rhino girl once and for all. What a relief.

    Second, congrats on surviving 6 weeks with your crazy students! Somehow it seems fitting that your biggest Diva would depart your lovely home with an Executive Car complete with Chauffeur and Escort. Ha!

    As for the Gay party next door- I'd love to hang out with you after a few cocktails and hear the details of life before a suburban housewife :-)

    Fabulous post as always. It's nice to have you back! xoxo

  3. Think of the loaves you have buttered over the last six weeks. You poor poor love!! (I bloody hate making sandwiches... summer holidays are BLISS because I dont make ANY)
    Oh, and PLEASE go to the gay party...(love the word poof too. We used to have a Poof that you sat on... my mother who is as innocent as the Blessed Virgin herself used to ask people to Please do sit on the Poof. Always raised a giggle from one of us. )
    Love the pic!

  4. My first visit to your blog - seriously, is Rhino her real name? Is she thick-skinned? Have an enormous horn? I'm intrigued and will have to read back...

  5. hahaha :) dontcha just love shocking people?
    I usually go over to watch the parade, but I haven't tried the whole pram-on-a-train on my own yet - and not sure that one of the busiest days of the year is the best time to try!

    Oh, and I think gay blokes actually quite like being called poofs nowadays - it's got that sort of retro charm thing going on :P

  6. HaHa...I know exactly what you mean about dandelions and 'poof'!

    I look forward to hearing more about your antics with girlfriends,rock stars and Astoria (used to go there too but never to GAY)

  7. sorry i havent popped over for a while!

    You really make me smile with your posts lol This one has made me chuckle, and the title!! im loving it!! thanks hun :)

  8. Very funny reading! I love that you did not take to your sons girlfriend. My son is 2 and can imagine in 20 years time I'll prob be exactly the same.

  9. I am glad that you got the kids eyesight fixed before he went out to drag home more trash!!!

    I love love love gay people. I love how they also need to give you graphic details of the weekend down to how they held the balls to have the best sex ever!! LOL!!! Too funny. I have yet to meet a shy gay person.

  10. wooohooooo! Rhino is gone! Even I'm pleased lol! Enjoy your party it should be good, oh if your making I'll have a cheese and ham sandwich please xxxx

  11. Helloooooo my lovelies!

    Sara - Ah shock is a wonderful thing!!! Yup! Mums are mums and always have been...we have never had another life at all! xx

    Hey JJ!! Yes, that awful girl has dissappeared into a puff of smoke and I'm jumping with glee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOu made me laugh with the Diva bit - such a fitting end to her - quite right!

    Ahh, cocktails are like a truth serum to me...too many I just ramble on get very bored! Love your blog too - really makes me laugh...ah, your a sweetie. xx

    LBW - I did think I was in a shop making bloody sandwiches all the time! I have an old footstall, which I still call a pouff! I love it. Love the word. Love the poofs and pouffs!

    Hello Reasons! Dont get me started....I'll get myself into a right pickle!!xx

    MTJAM - Ha! Rhino is her name. Thick-skinned, stupid and if she didnt get her own way would but everything!

    I am honestly relieved to say I know nothing of her enormous horn.......but it made me burst out laughing! Nice to see you here xx

    Miss Leslieanne - Maybe best to use a harness for baby - can be a bit busy and the pram wont be easy to manouver so much.

    I'm pleased about that word - because I love it. Actually I'll check with D (Poof no1), see if he minds. xx

    Chic Mama - oh, it was good the Astoria. It used to play such good dance tracks as well. Was there all night, stutting my stuff! Cant get past ten O'clock now.....xx

    Halo! Good to see you. Pleased you liked the post and it made you smile. Come over anytime - I'm always here - well - most of the time, last week wasnt here at all - get a bit side-tracked what with one thing or another.

    See? Now Im waffling! Lovely to see you xx

    Hey Laura! I remember when Liam was 2 - couldnt imagine him having a girlfriend then. It's only this particular one - you get to know that look of trouble and she just oozed it! The other's where lovely - all curious of course as one is, when you're boyfriend is 23 and the mum is 40 and should really be 50! xx

    HIt 40 - You make me curl up with laughter!!! Oh that comment was so funny! Yeah - trashy trollop!

    Never met a shy gay person in my life either. Poof No1 or D, was telling me about more antics today. Oh it would make you laugh - I'll stick in a post soon. It may have to come with a warning though - adult content!!!


    Amy! Hello sweetie. Yes, the wicked witch is dead....well buggered off anyway. Me and all my munchkins (kids) are whooping with joy! Yay!!!. My lips are sealed with regards to Sandwiches....Why is it called a sandwich? Sand Wich...sand witch...sarni...samich (as my mother pronouces it).

    Anyone for a wrap?

    I'm wrapping up myself now too, so thank you all for reading my little post - hope it made you giggle a little....and perhaps a little smile. Its always lovely to hear from you.

    Good night, god bless, come again, thanks a million, you've been a fantastic audience and I love you all loads......

    Keep smiling

    Here it somes......





Blog Widget by LinkWithin