The college I attend once a week is situated in a bit of a rough part of Brighton - just off the London Road. At 9 O'clock in the morning, its not so bad - everybody rushing to college or work, and it's quite deserted, but come 12.30pm its changed, the road is teeming with the bazaar. Waiting for my bus, I watched two old dears nearly came to blows, because one had trodden on the other's foot. The local druggies were out in force - I recognise a particular one, because he always wears the same clothes, black hat, green coat and nasty, baggy, grey tracksuit bottoms. He is so thin, he looks like he has been in Auschwitz. His cheekbones are painfully prominent and he seems to get thinner by the week. His mate, looks like a big butch thug, with scars down his cheek with a beet-red face. They are totally out of it. This I know, because last week they saw each other from across the street, both greeted each other in the middle of the road and had a good old chin wag, regardless of the buses, cars and taxi's that were honking their horns. They were totally oblivious.
There were really young girls pushing prams, weirdo's talking to themselves, students stuffing chips, transvestite's wobbling around on high heeled shoes, a girl with pink rasta locks and 10 inch wedges, old newspapers and litter stream the streets, as well as used condoms and needles. Lovely. I felt like I was in an episode of Shameless.
But I like my college and my tutors are good. My class is full of mostly middle-aged women, who want to get qualified and get on. We also have a very opinionated nun in our class, with a gob on her - who questions everything.....She can be a right pain sometimes because she is always interrupting. There are also have a couple of twenty-something blokes in our class - who are quite jovial and good fun. Today, our lecturer had a right go at everyone because we strolled in a bit late in the morning. In five years I have not seen our lecturer lose his temper - but today he did. Put a right flea in our ears. So with this in mind, after break we all made an extra effort to try and not to be late. One of the twenty-something blokes came in a bit late, and our lecturer glared at him and said 'late again Sean?'.
'Yeah, I just had to go and do some photocopying' he replied smiling away. He is very charismatic.
However, I opened my mouth and I really don't know why I did it.
'Oh no you weren't. I saw you at break with your posse of women. You have about six different women, no wonder you're always late. Are you some sort of Casanova?'
What the fuck was I doing?
His mate started giggling..
Sean got up and strolled over to the front of the class and sat on the empty desk next to me.
'There's nothing in it. It don't mean nothing...besides I've always got room for one more...'
I waved my left hand at him and said ' Yeah? I'm well married mate, go on, hop it'.
He wouldn't go. I got a bit alarmed. He is too charismatic. They should not allow twenty-something men into a forty-something female class-room. Its most off putting.
Needless to say - I cant remember a thing my lecturer babbled on about, I'll have to put in some extra time now to make up for this unwanted and shameless distraction.