Glorious Food

What the hell is this???


Abbi (Liam's new girlfriend), who seems to be a permanent fixture at weekends, says this was a gift from her mother.

To feed her with no doubt!

On questioning Abbi, with regards to 'What is it?', 'What do I do with it?', 'Does it have a name?',
'Is it rhubarb?', 'How do I cook it?'.

She replied, 'Its like spinach. Cook it like Spinach'.

She obviously is not aware that my cooking skills, regarding the art of creating a spinach dish, (or any dish come to that) do not stretch that far.


And what the frig is this?

Looks like overgrown sweetcorn kernels.

These are mini yellow tomatoes apparently.

Can you eat yellow tomatoes, without being poisoned?


At least I know what this is.

A fuzzy piccy of a cucumber.


Yeah, well, I'm not sure how long the first two will sit in my fridge, the spinach thing must be about 3ft long and is curling around the inside of my fridge muscling in on everything else. It is a very bolshy vegetable.

We seem to be inundated with other visitors at the weekend too these days......mainly Liam's huge, strapping mates.

When did they grow so big? Am I shrinking?

I knew these kids when they were scrawny 12 year olds, who wouldn't say 'boo to a goose' and where no taller than a reed of grass. Now they are towering 23 year old men with bulging muscles, big gobs and noisy fast cars. The neighbours get a bit twitchy when they visit.

Liam's room emits noise like a football crowd on a Saturday afternoon. Smutty words can be heard echoing down the stairwell along with great guff's of raucous laughter!

They also have stomachs like bottom-less pits. Why do they always come round at tea-time? I cant feed that lot......my fridge would be empty in a matter of seconds!

Mmm, seconds thoughts, it might solve the problem of the spinach tree growing in the fridge. I could whip 'em up a spinach and tomato tart delicately decorated with cucumber.

In my experience, young men seem to like the taste of a good-looking tart!

(Singing) Food, glorrrrr.............rious........fooooooooooooooood!

Glorious Food