Normal Service Resumed

My blog has had a nasty case of being 'backed up'.

I emailed the lovely violet posy who helped point me in the right direction and suggested it maybe the 'feeds'. Apparently it wasn't getting it's regular dose of five fruit and vegetables a day.

Now, after many proper portions plus some cod liver oil my blogs have shot out one after the other!

I can only apologise for the misbehaviour of my blog as it appears to have a mind of its own.

Amber went off on a school trip for a few days and it has been so quiet! No rows, no arguments, no nothing. It has been a joy to be in the house. Olly has been really happy, relishing in the fact that for the last few days he has been the 'one and only' in the house, and to be honest, at home, he has been an angel.

I did miss Amber, she is my only daughter and the last of my brood, but you do notice certain things when one of them is not around.

So after a blissful few days I picked her up from the school - it was such a joy to see her and she had had a wonderful time doing lots of activities.

Olly and Amber had a nice five minute chat about their recent trips, then all hell broke loose. Amber got into a right mood and lobbed all her dirty, muddy clothes out of the suitcase and onto the floor, spraying mud globules all over the carpet. She then huffed into the lounge, where Olly was playing happily on the computer and decided that she wanted to go on there and started pushing him off. That caused a loud and raucous scene. I then told her to get a shower and hair wash (as she was still covered in mud), that didn't go down well and it took 20 minutes to get her in the shower and another 30 minutes to get her out!

She picked at her dinner and then shouted at her dad and stomped off upstairs closing her bedroom door with such a force that the windows rattled and I jumped out of my skin in fright.

Finally, a bit of peace when she went to bed. However, this morning she took a least an hour and half 'dilly-dallying' getting ready for school. I had already sorted out her school stuff, so all she had to do was get dressed. What was she doing?????

Mmm, my kids seem to have a mind of their own as well as this bloody blog.

I shall endeavour to keep calm and carry on, as Normal Service has Resumed.

Normal Service Resumed

Your Tagged

I've been tagged by the lovely Maternal Tales, so here is my list:

1. What are your current obsessions?
Being cold - Cant bare it. And Oscar, the cat who lives next door. He keeps sneaking in my house and spraying everywhere.

2. Which item of clothes do you wear most often?
Jeans

3. What's for dinner tonight?
I'm not sure.......maybe Oscar.

4. What's the last thing you bought?
A thai fishcake

5. What are you currently listening to?
Silence. Everyone's either out or in bed. It's dreamy!

6. What are your favourite holiday spots?
Singapore, New York and Antigua.

7. What are you reading now?
The Crucible - by Arthur Miller

8. Use 4 words to describe yourself.
Dont. Have. A. Clue.

9. What is your guilty pleasure?
Chocolate, dancing and singing - when no-one can hear me as I cant sing a note.

10. Who or what makes you laugh until you're weak?
Bloody good blogs, a good gossip, Olly's retorts and me - trying to squeeze into a size 10 jeans, without a hope in hell.

11. First Spring thing?
Noticing all the cobwebs and dust in my house and thinking, 'I'll clean it next year'.

12. Where are you planning on travelling to next?
Hopefully back to Singapore and Oz in the summer or maybe try Bejing for a change.

13. What was the best thing you ate or drank recently?
A good cuppa

14. When did you last get tipsy?
I dont. It makes me loopy and I get out of control, making me extremely shame-faced in the morning!

15. What is your favourite film?
Blythe Spirit

16. Share a piece of wisdom.
A laugh a day keeps the blues away.

17. What's your favourite song?
Summertime by Ella Fitzgerald

18. If you could change anything in your life so far, what would it be?
To be a natural blonde and save myself a fortune.

The rules are as follows.

I tag you. You answer the questions, replace one question with a question of your choice and then tag 8 people. Simple!
Here's the 8 people I tag.

Motherhood the Final Frontier

Millennium Housewife

Mother of Shrek

Sticky Fingers

Clairelouise

And 1 more means four

Crystal Jigsaw

Married with Four

That's it!

Your Tagged

Autism - Olly's Tale

To highlight that April is Autism Awareness Month this is Olly's Tale.

Olly was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, 'Asperger's Syndrome' High Functioning, Possible Pervasive Developmental Disorder and Nocturnal Enuresis just before he was nine years old. It had taken 7 1/2 years to get to this conclusion, many assessments, meetings with SENCO's, Councilors, Psychologists, Doctors, just to name a few. Nobody was willing to offer an opinion or any help.

Olly was labelled a 'trouble-maker' from the unbelievable age of 18 months.

He spent three afternoons a week at a local Nursery, (my daughter was almost a year old, so I had two babies under two, plus a teenager), so for a bit of respite, Olly attended the Nursery.

One day we had a call summoning us to an emergency meeting, so we raced down there and was shown a playroom, which they had left exactly as it was, so we could see the damage that our son had done.

Our 18 month old toddler had flung chairs across the room, breaking one of them and his rage was so bad that he had ripped up paper, chucked paint around and made a huge mess on the floor. They had had to isolate him from the rest of the children. I could not believe my eyes nor my ears! How could this tiny little human have created all this chaos?

The Manager asked us to remove Olly from the Nursery. Basically they were expelling him. I received advice from someone who was quite high up in child services who said that the Nursery were not allowed to do that; they were not allowed to just take the 'good' children, especially as we were paying a fortune for the privilege of a place.

After flatly refusing to remove Olly, the Nursery were obligated to bring in a SENCO team that helped and advised them. They put up rotas and charts, not just for Olly, but for all the children, so everyone knew what they were doing and when. This team were on hand for a good year or two, implementing new procedures and advising the Nursery constantly.

Olly can still remember that dreadful day and used to get very upset about it, but I used to say, that it was a good thing it happened because it not only helped him but in the end it did help other children as well.

This kind of disruptive behaviour and the labelling of 'trouble-maker' followed Olly through his school life, until he was diagnosed. The primary school previous to his current one was dreadful, because they really did not have a clue how to handle him. I was being called to this particular school three times a week, every week, to have meetings with the Headmaster, and various SENCO people because they were at a loss as to how to deal with him. He was excluded (suspended) from school on many occasions.

Eventually, we were referred to a Consultant, and after many more assessments we went to meet her and she concluded her diagnosis. Immediately afterwards she got up and rushed off to a meeting leaving Olly and I sitting in the room watching her leave! I called out after her 'Oh, have we finished then?'

Olly was really upset and crying and I was furious with the way it was handled. We both had so many questions. Now we know what it is, what do we do about it? Who is there to speak to? What do we do now?

Somehow or another I managed to get in touch with some experts and put myself on a course so I could understand the 'theory' of autism and the workings of it. It was extremely interesting; the way Olly's mind works, how he thinks, why he reacts as he does, why his speech is as it is and I shall always be grateful to Dr Hayley Pringle - the young slip of a girl, who helped me tremendously during those first few months. She knew the 'theory' inside and out, and passing on her knowledge gave Olly and I a better understanding, and the ability to cope with certain situations much better.

We moved house again and changed Olly's school. His current school is brilliant, very supportive, they implement certain things for him and he feels safe and happy. Nothing is perfect and it still has its moments, but when we all work together; the school, the parents, Olly, the doctors and the professionals it does create an environment that is tolerable for him, and because of this he has been able to excel at most of his subjects.

Because he is high functioning he is academically quite clever, but he just cant understand the world we live in, the way it functions and why everything is so haphazard. There is no logic.

Olly's mind and that of others on the Spectrum work logically - like computers. If you think of how a computer works or shows you data, everything has it's place and it is just where you left it. It has to work in a process. If it is disrupted or moved it doesn't like it and occasionally it breaks down, but when it works it is phenomenally brilliant.

Another way of looking at it is the Autistic Spectrum is rather like a triangular piece of cheese placed on its side. People can be anywhere on this spectrum - at varying degrees - although the underlying line is the same. Hence why there is differing abilities and why each person on the spectrum is different from the next.

You hear so many negative things about Autism, but it brings

wonderful things too.

When Olly gets upset and rages about his 'Arse-burgers' as he calls it, I say to him that it is like a metal sword. One side is dull and murky and things are unclear, but the other side is dazzling bright, it enables you to do things the rest of us only dream about. To see the world differently, to have no fear, to think differently, to be honest, to have incredible ideas, to be creative, unlimited and unique in ones thought processes. Surely being able to look at the world from a different perspective is a much greater gift?

Or would you rather just be a plain metal sword?

There has been much written about famous people who were believed to have been on the Autistic Spectrum, and they are such because of their unique perspective on life or for discovering something the rest of us just couldn't see.

And I for one wouldn't be without it.

Autism - Olly's Tale

Pushy Parents

My kids interests are mainly in Swimming, Art and Musical Theatre. Now, you would think that the most Pushy Parents would be the well-known stage mothers....Judy Garland having had one of the most pushiest mother's ever and in more recent times Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears' Mothers. But I'm not so sure now....and what if a Pushy Parent had a combination of interest's for their child? What would that be like?

Olly and Amber have attended Theatrical Schools, since they were 4 and three, part-time. Amber mainly because she loved the clothes the ballerina's wore (!) and Olly, to help with his speech/diction - which it did, and also Drama to get him to empathise with others - which it didn't!

The mothers who attended on Saturday's didn't seem like pushy mums, they were a bit strange now and again - you know, talk to you one week, ignore you the next, but on the whole it was fine.

Amber was eventually offered a full-time scholarship and that's where I met some more of the 'full-time' parents, one of them being my friend Bea. Although concerned for their child's education, none seemed to be the pushy type.

To cut a very long and nasty story short, the school went bankrupt, (probably giving away too many scholarships), so we all scattered to the winds and the kids attended another Theatrical School, which my friend Bea recommended and they really enjoy it. A Pushy Parent had not yet reared it's ugly head, (but a few arsehole Dad's have, they seem to get a great kick out of blocking your car in and when asked to move they reply smugly 'I'm just waiting for my daughter, she'll be out in a minute, then I'll move it'! Tossers.

When Amber and I attended the Art Competition, I got yapping to another mother there and I commented on the winner and how I could see why she won. This woman snapped back that she could not see how she could have won as she thought her daughter's picture was much better. Okaaay! (I hadn't met parents from the Art world before, so this was new!).

Swimming is probably the worst I have come across. The kids recently entered into what was supposed to be, a friendly competition between local counties. It was specifically for kids who do not swim competitively and it is really for them to gain experience,

However, helping at poolside, I was shocked by the parents (mainly the Dads I might add). One in particular became so engrossed at encouraging his man-size child, that he was down at the poolside yelling his head off. He had to be sent back to the seats but he was not shame-faced at all. Needless to say his kid won, probably because his kid was the size of my husband. But this world is cut-throat.

Now, Bea had recently contacted me because her daughter loves to swim, so I told her to bring her down to our club so she can get some practise in and improve her skills.

I help at poolside only when my kids swim, so I can keep an eye on Olly, because if the lanes get too crowded, he freaks out and he always has to be in the front, so this way I can advise the coaches and avoid any potentially nasty situations occurring.

Unfortunately, on this particular day, there were a shortage of coaches, so I had to take two lanes with about 14 kids. You need to be organised otherwise the teenage girls start gossiping and they never do anything. So I had two lanes, 14 kids of mixed ages, but roughly the same ability.

About 20 Min's into the session, I heard this yelling from the seats. I look up and it's Bea. She is screaming down from the auditorium telling me to coach her child individually because her strokes were so poor!

I couldn't believe it! Bloody cheek!

So this was the Pushy Parent in the form of my supposed friend Bea!

A stage-mother and swimming mother combined - not a pretty sight and not for the weak-kneed! Ethel Milne (Judy Garland's mother) has a rival.

I gave her the thumbs up, instead of giving her the finger (which I really felt like doing, because she, above all, knows my situation with the swimming and Olly). I helped her daughter as much as I could, but with 14 kids and trying to keep track of them all was a tall order.

Anyway, I saw Bea again this evening as we were dropping our kids off at the Theatrical School and I called her over. (It had been bugging me and I had to sort it out).

I reiterated to her that I am not a trained coach and that my sole purpose for being at the poolside is to help with Olly. I am not trained to coach swimming and the only experience I have is personally and not professionally. If she was not happy that I was helping at this particular session then perhaps she should find another session to attend.

She denied the whole thing and said she just wanted her daughter to kick her legs more! Yeah, and I've just seen a pig fly!

Pushy Parents take all forms, they may be lurking in your friends......to be warned is to be fore-armed....as they say.

Pushy Parents

Flowers in My Street

Once a year, Brighton and Hove City Council hold a children's poster competition called Flower's in our Street. Every child in the city can enter by submitting a drawing or painting either via their school or individually.

Amber had half completed a painting that she was going to submit last year, but due to her school closing down (and a very long story), the picture was never completed and subsequently never entered.

I spotted it lying around a couple of months ago and suggested that she finish it off and enter the competition via her current primary school. We had to dig around for the same shiny paints etc, but finally it was finished.

A condition of submitting the drawing is that you do not get it back, because there are so many entries it is just impossible to return. It was such a pretty painting that I wanted to get a photocopy of it before it was submitted, so after a lot of running around to different establishments and outlets, (it was on A3 and not many places have good quality A3 photocopying facilities), I finally managed to get a half decent copy, stuck that on her wall and sent the other one off.

That was the end of that. Forgot about it.

Two weeks ago she had a letter through from Brighton and Hove City Council, (I thought it was over a lost library book and was wondering how much a replacement would be), but it wasn't, it was a letter informing her she had reached the finals in her age category and an invitation for Amber and one parent to attend a presentation at The Grand Hotel in Brighton.

The City Mayor Mr Garry Peltzer-Dunn would present her with a certificate, plus the sponsor (the owner of the Regency Restaurant in Brighton) would present her with a prize.

I could not believe my eyes when I read this. This type of thing does not happen in our family. Life is usually full of misery and woe isn't it?

We went out and bought her a nice dress and a pair of little shoes to match. I arranged for Hubby to take care of Olly, however, the day before Hubby got called out to work (typical), but I managed to find day-care for Olly but only until 5.30pm. The presentation was at 4pm, so we could just about squeeze it in provided it didn't go on too long.

We arrive at the Grand and got dressed in their powder rooms, put a bit of make-up on and made our way out into the lobby. Amber looked so smart I was really proud of her. I got chatting to another mother and was mid-gossip saying 'my son Olly wonder's why the Mayor wears so much 'bling'..' when the Mayor himself stood in front of me! As always, when one is caught in the act of misbehaviour a sweet smile and 'Hello, nice to meet you,' is definitely required. Mortifying!

We didn't really know what to expect, I thought there might be about 40 kids or so in the finals but as we made our way into the Albert Room , hanging on the wall were the paintings of the four finalists in each category, so Amber had done really well.

The compare for the afternoon was Neil Pringle from Southern Counties Radio who did a good job steadying our nerves, breaking the ice and livening us up.

They read the finalists out in reverse order, 4th place to 1st. Under 7's, 8-10, 11-16 and 16-18. If I had entered into this kind of competition I would not even have made the finals, so I kept waiting for them to call out her name, but it seemed to take ages, then finally they called her and she had come 2nd place in the 8-10's. Never have so proud. My eyes were welling up. I yelled with delight and leaped up, snapping away with my camera - the pictures are a bit fuzzy, but I got one of her receiving her certificate from the Mayor and the prize from the Regency owner.

Our local paper, The Argus had a photographer present, Darren Cool (yes that is his real name), and he was snapping away, so I hope it will be in the paper soon.

The little girl who came first in Amber's category also won the overall competition and her name and picture will be used in campaigns across Brighton.

All the finalists got their pictures back, so it managed to find it's way home. They also gave the children balloons to take away also, except Amber let hers go and it ended up at the top of a 40ft ceiling, so I had to nick one from a table. We couldn't stay for tea and cake because I had to get back and pick up Olly, but on the way home, Amber threw a right strop because she hadn't come first!

I couldn't believe my ears!

Moaning and crying she was.....it was dreadful. I got really cross and stopped the car and said to her 'with an attitude like that you don't deserve to win'.

What is wrong with this girl? Is winning that important?

I had half an hour of being totally euphoric and was then plunged back into the depths of despair.

She has taken her certificate to school to show the class and despite her probable hormonal attitude I am still proud of her and I hope you like her picture.

Flowers in My Street